Unstoppable

It's been a couple weeks since I've checked in here on the blog and thought I would share some updates with you all.  First things first, I've been back to the gym for 3 weeks now and really starting to see some changes. Every week I improve in some small way.  The weights are easier to lift so I can do more reps or increase the weight and I'm starting to SEE improvements too.  This morning I noticed my calves DEFINITELY had a lot more shape to them and my arms are starting to define (from my perspective) a tiny bit.  One thing some people probably don't know about me is that I really obsess about my arms.  That was one of my favorite things when I used to do bootcamp and boxing and all of that.  When I could touch my arms and outline the definition of the muscles with the tips of my fingers without flexing.  It was awesome!  And don't get me wrong, I don't have a muscle fetish or anything, I just really feel good when I can see my muscle tone under all the fluff that is slowly melting away.  I usually get about 4-5 days a week in the gym and follow a 6 day routine, so if I miss a day or two, I just pick up where I left off in my routine and don't stress about it.  The kids and I have both gotten in a good habit of getting up plenty early to get them to daycare in time for mom to go to the gym before work.  Even after Christmas yesterday we were all exhausted and I debated on letting everyone sleep in and catch up, but that's what the weekends for and with the kids home, I won't be able to get to the gym anyway....soooooooo why not get up early today, get to the gym and save Saturday and Sunday for relaxing, right?

Since it's December 26th, I've successfully survived multiple Christmas parties without being run over by the healthy eating wagon.  There were some instances where I wasn't faced with much, if any, healthy options and I just did my best and even indulged slightly, but at the next meal I was right back to my healthy eating.  For instance, at work the lunch that was catered for us was Pot Belly sandwiches, pasta salad, cole slaw, chips, and cookies.  I chose a chicken and cheddar sandwich, chips, and a chocolate brownie cookie....yup, TOTALLY a crap meal and the carb overload and crash that followed wasn't enjoyable in the least, but I knew it was coming, I planned for it and I survived and still had 211 calories left when I went to bed that night.  I didn't throw my life away because of one lousy meal.  I logged it before I took a single bite and I moved on.  Had the cookie put me over my daily calorie goal, I would've skipped it, but because my breakfast was so lean, I had some wiggle room.  I don't "plan" to have a "cheat day" or even a "cheat meal", but when a situation presents itself that I know my choices are extremely limited I plan my day around that meal.  LOTS of water before and after too.

Yesterday was another challenging day for me.  Not only were there plenty of treats, but the "meal" we had with family was a culmination of different appetizers and I had ZERO control over what ingredients were used, but my mom was mindful of the way my boyfriend and I eat and took that in to consideration.  Instead of preparing the crab cups with JUST wonton wrappers, she made some with quiona cups.  They were pretty darn tasty!  We also had chicken wings, veggies and dip, pickle wrap dip (essentially chopped up pickle wraps) and buffalo chicken dip which I ate with celery instead of crackers.  She even made "cheese crisps" which were basically baked Parmesan Aregiano cheese in the shape of large crackers.  They were super tasty!  So while the day was probably higher in fat than my typical day I did not leave cravings carbs, so I'm calling it a success.  I even ate a piece of two of her homemade candy, logged it, and moved on.

Overall I'm very very proud of my accomplishments and yet while I've been at the gym, I keep seeing myself in the mirror, the rolls and lumps and all of that and I think about how our own views of ourselves are undoubtedly skewed because we see ourselves in the mirror every single day and being somewhat of a lifestyle/documentary type photographer, I soooooo wished I could document this journey.  So what do I do?  Well, I contacted my most favoritest photographer in the whole wide world and asked her if she would be interested in running with this crazy idea.....and thankfully she was TOTALLY game and even excited to help me document my journey.

Something else I probably haven't mentioned on my blog before....partially because I don't want people to think it's a goal for attention and partially because it might be a little crazy and one helluva long shot....I want to be in People Magazine.  Yup, the national magazine sold on thousands of news stands across America. Not just any old issue, but ever since I started trying to change my life (shortly after graduating high school) I've wanted to be one of the featured folks in the January issue of People called "Half Their Size".  I don't want to be featured for having my organs rearranged and physically being forced to lose weight by some half cracked physician.  I want to inspire people by letting them know that you CAN do this on your own.  With a lot of hard work....it's NOT impossible.  Anyone CAN....it's just a matter of who WILL.  I want to give the hopeless hope.  I want to be an example.  I want to inspire and wouldn't that be probably one of the coolest ways to do it?!?!

So that being said.....I'm so so so excited to work with Tasha Herrgott of Red Bird Hills Photography to document my story in multiple photo shoots and regardless if I appear in People Magazine or not, I am proud of what I'm doing and I'll be even more proud when 2015 becomes the year that I reach my goals!