Hard decisions

So during this challenge I've been doing seemingly well.  That being said, it's an unhealthy progression and I've fallen back in to some old anxiety and obsessive behaviors that I'm not proud of.  I have "scale issues", which isn't exactly what you may think unless you've followed my blog for a while.  Basically I get wrapped up more in the number on the scale rather than my own health.  It seems when a competition is involved and I feel the pressure of pulling a good number, I would weigh myself once a day and in some cases multiple times a day, so I made the decision to continue facilitating the challenges for those that would like to take part, but that I would opt out.  I had a heart heart with my favorite trainer and decided it's best I only get on the scale once a month and focus on making good choices rather than the number that seems to be wrongly used to determine success or failure.  If I don't pull the number I think I should, I end up feeling like I failed or like a fraud.  I would overdose on Miralax to get a higher number, especially if I felt like the number could be considerably better.

That being said, the cruise I have booked with my amazing boyfriend, my sister, and her boyfriend is exactly 18 weeks out and while I would LIKE to be back to 222 by then (my lowest adult weight), it's just not realistic and I understand that, so my goal instead is to be back in my size 18 jeans.  I've even bought some clothes lately that are a size or two too small for the cruise to use as motivation.

So today, I started a "Back to Basics" sugar detox.  Simply it's protein and vegetables and that's it.

I was nervous after a long weekend up north with my kids showing them exactly what NOT to eat (see mom fail!) but I survived today with three protein and veggie rich meals!

Breakfast - 3 egg omelette with mushrooms, green onions, ham, and a smidgen of Italian cheese

Lunch - leftover from last week Sweet Potato, Kale and Black Bean Hash (the sweet potato is not an ideal sugar detox food, there's a large amount left over and it broke my heart to waste it)

Snack - ham slices (just enough to hold me over so I could cook dinner)

Dinner - Pumpkin Chili

Sautéed onions and garlic

2 large cans of fire roasted diced tomatoes

2 cans of pumpkin (NOT the pie filling)

2 cans of black beans

1 can of white beans 

1 can of garbanzo beans (aka chickpeas)

2 cans of water

Cumin and Chili powder to taste

Yum yum yum!!!!