"NO"

I'm going to preface this post by saying that it's controversial and my goal is not to hurt or offend ANYONE.  I am not targeting anyone or speaking specifically about any one person in this post.  I simply came across this image on Pinterest and I related it to my own struggles and have chosen to voice my opinions on that specifically.  Because my blog is a healthy living type blog, I feel the subject matter is appropriate. Some people haven't followed my blog for long and don't know about my bariatric surgery consideration.   They don't know my story or what I've been through, just as I don't know yours or the person's next to you....but here it is....my 2 cents on Bariatric Surgery.

 As you all know if you read the "My Story" portion of this blog, you know that at one point in my life I considered bariatric surgery.  At 400+ lbs it was not impossible, but SUCKED to walk on a treadmill, even at a 3.0 I was huffing and puffing and panting like a dog who'd run a marathon.  I'd known several people in my life that had had various types of bariatric surgery and my own decision was strongly influenced by someone I considered a good friend.  She was planning to have the lap band surgery and had clued me in on everything that needed to be done, etc.  Even prior to the informational meeting, I was sold on the idea.  To me, the informational meeting was simply a hoop I had to jump through.  I sat through those few hours with several people my size, most smaller, few larger and looking around that room I wondered what their stories were.  Why THEY wanted to be here, but I was there to jump through this hoop and then go through the magic procedure of getting smaller.  THAT was my focus at that very moment....just. get. smaller.  I knew my skin would hang from me like the latex of a deflated balloon, I knew I would develop rashes from said skin, I knew my hair would thin and my skin would gray and I would easily become malnourished.  I knew I wouldn't be able to take the pill form of any medication or consume alcohol for quite some time.  I knew I would likely not EVER be able to eat untoasted bread or drink water within 30 minutes of eating and I was ok with that, because the desire to be smaller and my insecurities outweighed everything else at that point.  There were even past patients that were paraded across in front of the room like models on a cat walk.  Few had the baggy skin gray skin I'd witnessed in my personal experience, but all of them had endured plastic surgery and they had worked out and eaten exactly how they were supposed to. Looking back, I believe they are the minority.  It was a commercial...they surely aren't going to parade those poor folks that had gained the weight back, that had failed at their attempts, etc.  Well I could do that right?  But wait....if I was still going to have to eat right and go the gym, then WHY EXACTLY did I feel my only option of getting smaller was to rearrange or strap down my organs....because it was easier and easy was what I needed at that point in time.

 And then I heard it....the word "no".  After speaking to my insurance carrier and them telling me the employer specifically excluded weight loss surgery my life felt like it was caving in around me.  I felt hopeless.  Little did I know that a two letter word could change my life forever...I didn't have any other choice, besides to take my 400 lb self to the damn gym!  Shortly after this profound "devastation" I was asked to be in the same friend's wedding and I didn't have a choice besides to put in the work needed to make a change.

Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE supporter of bariatric surgery when the need is dire.  If you are at a point in your life that the mass of your body has you bed ridden or unable to walk unassisted because of the lbs you carry or if your medical conditions, oxygen use, etc prevent you from being capable of exercise.  Yes, you are a candidate for bariatric surgery.  Other than that, the medical community and I disagree greatly on medical necessity of such procedures.  But then again, my paycheck doesn't depend on whether or not America is addicted to surgery, even though I work for the largest medical provider in Minnesota.  In my own opinion, the risk is much too great and the struggles much harder than ANYTHING currently faced to go through not only a surgical procedure, but the mental and psychological anguish faced by such a venture.

I supported my 230 lb "friend" that had the lap band because I was in a completely different state of mind.  I know patients go through psych evals and all of the routine procedures to make sure you are "ready" for bariatric surgery, but any half sane person can give them the answers they are looking for.  Truthfully the ONLY way to achieve health is by eating correctly and by getting exercise.  Surgery or not.  And IF you are physically capable now....what is surgery going to do to help you?  What are you REALLY achieving?  It's NOT giving you will power.  It's not changing your relationship with food.  It's not changing how you see yourself.  It's not doing ANYTHING for you except for making the process much quicker and if you are going to change the way you eat and how much you work out as prerequisite FOR the surgery....then why waste the money?  The truth is a capable adults get this surgery every single day and treat it like a "diet"....they eat well and work out for a while and then they fall off the wagon and go back to their old ways, but this time because of the compromised state of their internal organs, the effects of going back to old ways with food and lack of exercise is going to be much more than a couple gained lbs and the depression and feelings of failure that follow are going to be much greater as well.

I have seen people do great things after such surgeries, but I've seen LOTS more than that struggle with so many complications and side effects and eventually end up more unhappy with themselves than they were prior to the procedure and it breaks my heart.  So when people see old pictures of me and ask how much weight I've lost and I tell them 180 lbs and they ASSUME I had surgery or even ask, yes, I'm slightly offended.  It makes me sad that in today's society, it's assumed that you had your organs rearranged instead of ACTUALLY working for what you want.  I have BUSTED MY ASS to be where I am today and continue to struggle and work hard EVERY. SINGLE. DAY and I am not going to let ANY medical professional take credit for that!  I understand those who go through the painful process of bariatric surgery work hard and struggle as well, but if you're going to work hard and struggle regardless, why add in the side effects and pain and psychological break down of the surgery too unless it is an absolutely last resort to SAVE YOUR LIFE.

I am currently descending from soap box :)  Happy Hump Day!