NOT an obsession

This is the first morning in MONTHS that I have not stepped on the scale.  I honestly believe I have a real problem that maybe I honestly need to see a shrink for.  As I sit and think about the fact that I CAN'T weigh myself this morning my heart starts to beat in my throat, my mind races and I have to force my mind to think of something else for fear of an anxiety attack.  The scale has become an obsession.  I'm addicted to weighing myself, if that's even possible.  Last night one of my friends graciously took my scale home with her and as much as I appreciate it, I hate to say that when she left I almost cried.  It just kills me to NOT know, but I also understand that weighing myself everyday, sometimes multiple times a day is NOT healthy and isn't that what I'm trying to do...be healthy?  So the next time I weigh myself will be the end of bootcamp (Dec 14th) and then not again until the beginning of the next bootcamp (Jan 4th).  It stresses me out to no end, but it's what I have to do.